top of page

The Science of Surrender

Originally published on Amani Resources website, July 29, 2012


Welcome to the Amani Resources Blog, where we offer SOUL STORIES to inspire and inform. Through storytelling we harness the power of prose and of poetry to share our personal healing journey. We hope you’ll visit often and share some stories of your own.


In 2008 my husband and I took a 10-day cruise in Alaska with Neale Donald Walsch, author of the bestselling book series “Conversations with God.” While aboard, with about 40 other travelers, I enjoyed a conversation with Walsch that helped redirect my life, change my perspective on prosperity and discover

what it feels like to live my purpose. This Soul Story speaks of this awakening, and the birth of Amani. Enjoy. — Panya


***

Alaska cruise with Neale Donald Walsch

Soul Story: The Science of Surrender

By Tasneem Grace Tewogbola


Perhaps it is the glacial air

the sway of the sea

the arctic openness or

the folk seeking serenity

whatever it is, it summons her discontent to stand and demand to be heard

and recognized

and reckoned with


So when he invites — tell me everything — she speaks

of the feeling that wears no name but bears only sensation

The feeling that aches and itches and pinches and tugs and nips

until her usual exuberance is muted by exhaustion

and her usual glow is dulled into gloom

and her smile – usually as radiant as the sun – is shadowed by discontent


She feels herself becoming more unlike herself and she is not satisfied

not with the corporate gig

the ergonomic chair

the holiday bonuses

the swollen paychecks

the Fortune 500 status

the team she manages

the reputation she creates or

the resume she crafts


She is on a cruise ship, floating and drowning at the same time

proud and perplexed,

burdened and blessed


After all, she is educated and groomed and motivated and meant to graduate

and get the degree and the office

the corner one with the view


She says she is “shoulding” all over herself

With all the voices from the outside hollering in her ears

You should be happy with all the money you’re making!

You should be grateful, you’ve got a good job!

You should be excited, you got another raise!


She is led and pushed and enticed and applauded for stepping way beyond the

sharecroppers and cotton pickers, beyond the coal miners and ditch diggers,

beyond the strivers and survivors

She is trained to sprint up the ladder of success