Originally published on Amani Resources website, July 29, 2012
Welcome to the Amani Resources Blog, where we offer SOUL STORIES to inspire and inform. Through storytelling we harness the power of prose and of poetry to share our personal healing journey. We hope you’ll visit often and share some stories of your own.
In 2008 my husband and I took a 10-day cruise in Alaska with Neale Donald Walsch, author of the bestselling book series “Conversations with God.” While aboard, with about 40 other travelers, I enjoyed a conversation with Walsch that helped redirect my life, change my perspective on prosperity and discover
what it feels like to live my purpose. This Soul Story speaks of this awakening, and the birth of Amani. Enjoy. — Panya
***
Soul Story: The Science of Surrender
By Tasneem Grace Tewogbola
Perhaps it is the glacial air
the sway of the sea
the arctic openness or
the folk seeking serenity
whatever it is, it summons her discontent to stand and demand to be heard
and recognized
and reckoned with
So when he invites — tell me everything — she speaks
of the feeling that wears no name but bears only sensation
The feeling that aches and itches and pinches and tugs and nips
until her usual exuberance is muted by exhaustion
and her usual glow is dulled into gloom
and her smile – usually as radiant as the sun – is shadowed by discontent
She feels herself becoming more unlike herself and she is not satisfied
not with the corporate gig
the ergonomic chair
the holiday bonuses
the swollen paychecks
the Fortune 500 status
the team she manages
the reputation she creates or
the resume she crafts
She is on a cruise ship, floating and drowning at the same time
proud and perplexed,
burdened and blessed
After all, she is educated and groomed and motivated and meant to graduate
and get the degree and the office
the corner one with the view
She says she is “shoulding” all over herself
With all the voices from the outside hollering in her ears
You should be happy with all the money you’re making!
You should be grateful, you’ve got a good job!
You should be excited, you got another raise!
She is led and pushed and enticed and applauded for stepping way beyond the
sharecroppers and cotton pickers, beyond the coal miners and ditch diggers,
beyond the strivers and survivors
She is trained to sprint up the ladder of success
And, now, she is tired
I have not, she says, as they glide past glaciers, felt right in a long time
He nods and smiles gently, rolling his wrists
Sometimes, he says, you have to let go of the thing you have in one hand so
you can make room for something new in the other.
And just like that, the words she heard before – the ones telling her to sanctify her blues with the rhythm of risk – become Truth.
The words oil what is stiff on the inside.
She spreads her fingers wide. And prosperity fills her palms.
And shifts her perspective
And lines her pockets, too.
She returns home, relieved, reoriented, devoted to revolution.
In the span of six moons, in February, on Valentine’s Day, she decides to leave her job and begin anew .
She chooses to leap and trust God’s safety net to cushion her fall. She wonders a bit about money, about her savings and the sting of lack.
But what, she ponders, will life be like without this stress? Or this busyness?
What will life feel like if she clears out the crowding of doing, doing, doing and makes space to find her place and just be?
So when – just weeks before liberation! – her job is snipped by budget cuts,
she is ready.
A bit anxious but hopeful, a bit scared but ready.
Ready to test the Truth and use what she knows: The recipe of release, the science of surrender.
Step one: Declare your desire.
Step two: Give it up to God.
Step three: Trust and allow the unfolding.
Step four: Watch your vision take flight.
Step five: Return to step one and repeat. And Repeat. And Repeat.
Forever ever.
Freedom, discipline and courage inspire insight.
Her teachers and mentors notice her gift for guiding, teaching and helping others heal and become whole – mind, body and soul.
In time, her clientele grows and Amani awakens.
Today she hums the anthem of abundance. She believes in full pockets and bank accounts. In needs met and prayers answered, in living well to make a living.
Today she measures her wealth in the currency of satisfaction and joy.
What she loses in titles she gains in time.
Time with her family.
Time to meditate.
Time to heal.
Time to travel.
And teach and study and grow and give
And be.
Today she speaks Truth:
Know purpose, know peace.
On purpose, seek peace.
Today she is, once again, herself.
She laughs and works and prays and plays and, just as before, she offers the world her smile
It is as radiant as the sun.
