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The Science of Surrender

Originally published on Amani Resources website, July 29, 2012

Welcome to the Amani Resources Blog, where we offer SOUL STORIES to inspire and inform. Through storytelling we harness the power of prose and of poetry to share our personal healing journey. We hope you’ll visit often and share some stories of your own.

In 2008 my husband and I took a 10-day cruise in Alaska with Neale Donald Walsch, author of the bestselling book series “Conversations with God.” While aboard, with about 40 other travelers, I enjoyed a conversation with Walsch that helped redirect my life, change my perspective on prosperity and discover

what it feels like to live my purpose. This Soul Story speaks of this awakening, and the birth of Amani. Enjoy. — Panya


Alaska cruise with Neale Donald Walsch

Soul Story: The Science of Surrender

By Tasneem Grace Tewogbola

Perhaps it is the glacial air

the sway of the sea

the arctic openness or

the folk seeking serenity

whatever it is, it summons her discontent to stand and demand to be heard

and recognized

and reckoned with

So when he invites — tell me everything — she speaks

of the feeling that wears no name but bears only sensation

The feeling that aches and itches and pinches and tugs and nips

until her usual exuberance is muted by exhaustion

and her usual glow is dulled into gloom

and her smile – usually as radiant as the sun – is shadowed by discontent

She feels herself becoming more unlike herself and she is not satisfied

not with the corporate gig

the ergonomic chair

the holiday bonuses

the swollen paychecks

the Fortune 500 status

the team she manages

the reputation she creates or

the resume she crafts

She is on a cruise ship, floating and drowning at the same time

proud and perplexed,

burdened and blessed

After all, she is educated and groomed and motivated and meant to graduate

and get the degree and the office

the corner one with the view

She says she is “shoulding” all over herself

With all the voices from the outside hollering in her ears

You should be happy with all the money you’re making!

You should be grateful, you’ve got a good job!

You should be excited, you got another raise!

She is led and pushed and enticed and applauded for stepping way beyond the

sharecroppers and cotton pickers, beyond the coal miners and ditch diggers,

beyond the strivers and survivors

She is trained to sprint up the ladder of success

And, now, she is tired

I have not, she says, as they glide past glaciers, felt right in a long time

He nods and smiles gently, rolling his wrists

Sometimes, he says, you have to let go of the thing you have in one hand so

you can make room for something new in the other.

And just like that, the words she heard before – the ones telling her to sanctify her blues with the rhythm of risk – become Truth.

The words oil what is stiff on the inside.

She spreads her fingers wide. And prosperity fills her palms.

And shifts her perspective

And lines her pockets, too.

She returns home, relieved, reoriented, devoted to revolution.

In the span of six moons, in February, on Valentine’s Day, she decides to leave her job and begin anew .

She chooses to leap and trust God’s safety net to cushion her fall. She wonders a bit about money, about her savings and the sting of lack.

But what, she ponders, will life be like without this stress? Or this busyness?

What will life feel like if she clears out the crowding of doing, doing, doing and makes space to find her place and just be?

So when – just weeks before liberation! – her job is snipped by budget cuts,

she is ready.

A bit anxious but hopeful, a bit scared but ready.

Ready to test the Truth and use what she knows: The recipe of release, the science of surrender.

Step one: Declare your desire.

Step two: Give it up to God.

Step three: Trust and allow the unfolding.

Step four: Watch your vision take flight.

Step five: Return to step one and repeat. And Repeat. And Repeat.

Forever ever.

Freedom, discipline and courage inspire insight.

Her teachers and mentors notice her gift for guiding, teaching and helping others heal and become whole – mind, body and soul.

In time, her clientele grows and Amani awakens.

Today she hums the anthem of abundance. She believes in full pockets and bank accounts. In needs met and prayers answered, in living well to make a living.

Today she measures her wealth in the currency of satisfaction and joy.

What she loses in titles she gains in time.

Time with her family.

Time to meditate.

Time to heal.

Time to travel.

And teach and study and grow and give

And be.

Today she speaks Truth:

Know purpose, know peace.

On purpose, seek peace.

Today she is, once again, herself.

She laughs and works and prays and plays and, just as before, she offers the world her smile

It is as radiant as the sun.




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