In this day and age, we've heard a lot about millennial mayhem -- especially in the workplace -- but I think we really should be tuning in to millennial magic. Learn why and how in the vlog.
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Today's vlog post is a vulnerable share... no tips or techniques, just a deeply personal story, that I almost didn't post...
It's basically an apology to my son.
If you have children and have ever struggled with truly knowing and honoring their unique gifts and talents, then you may be able to relate.
Actually, I think anyone can relate to this very human story.
If you're watching, leave me some hearts, or a comment under the video... I'm wide open with this one!
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When working women first have children, they frequently go into overwhelm. In part for the obvious reason, it takes a while to figure out how to manage home, work, relationship and the little person or people all at once. At core though, new parents go into overwhelm because they calculate the cost of adding kids to their lives, and their anxiety multiplies.
With more responsibility comes a feeling of limitation -- less time, less space for personal pursuits. Less sleep, less spark, and let's face it, less intimacy. Then comes resentment, for you and your partner, because neither person's needs are truly being met, which can lead to argument and division, even divorce. So it's important to remember three things when you add kids to your life.
First, you are raising your children to be independent, free. Eventually you will let them go, and it's your partner who will provide comfort and companionship. So, carve out ritual time to connect to your beloved, no matter what. It goes without saying that communication is key. But remember to spend some time daily on topics unrelated to the to-do list or toddlers.
Second, while kids do come with moments of maddening frustration (do we really need bed time drama every night?), they also bring new levels of intentionality, purpose and discernment to your life. Because with less time you learn to value every moment more. You become more discerning about what you do and who you spend your time with. You move with more purpose.
And third, your purpose is what your kids have come to experience. They've chosen you because they need to experience life exactly as you've designed it. And even the 'mistakes' are part of the package. So strap them on, and take them with you, whether you're engaged in the magical or mundane. Include them in the grocery store run, bring them into the kitchen while you cook. Let them see you in your element at work, and at play. Because they learn so much more from what you do (and how you feel doing it), than from what you say.
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Wherever you go, there you are.
This is one of the most difficult and personally empowering realizations of a lifetime.
You spend so much of your youth wondering and dreaming about your Mr. or Ms. Right. Imagining your happily ever after, only to find out that romantic relationships are work. That no matter who you wind up with, there is a hill to climb, sometimes a mountain.
And the hardest work in relationship can be the inner work, because, like it or not, there is nothing like romantic relationship to bring out your evil twin. You know the one with the insecurities, fears and obsessive compulsive traits that come out with a vengeance when your partner leaves their socks on the floor.
In your younger days you could explain away relationship hopping with, “It's not me, it's you.” Until you began to get inklings of déjà vu in the next relationship, and the next.
You see, wherever you go, there you are.
And until you bring healing to the relationships of your past, you will continue to relive the past in your present relationships. If you leave a relationship without getting to the heart of why you chose it in the first place, you will find the same issues in the next one.
Wherever you go, there you are.
The key to bringing healing to your romantic relationship, whether you are currently in one or not, is to actively practice forgiveness. Don't get me wrong, forgiveness is not about denying that another person's actions may have been inconsiderate or hurtful. It is not about justifying any behavior. It is about choosing to let go of the negative feelings that keep you trapped in resentment, hurt and argument, so that you don't continue to relive the painful experience.
Forgiveness is a conscious decision to shift focus from a negative experience to other more positive parts of your life.
The question to ask is, are you holding on to past pain and resentments from romantic partners, past and present? What is keeping you from opening fully to love and intimacy today?
If you're interested in learning how to forgive your past and experience the magic of right relationship, then sign up for my upcoming free series: 5 Days of Forgiveness: Creating Magic and Miracles in Your Relationships. During this series I will be leading you through a transformational forgiveness process where you'll let go of the resentments holding you back in your most important relationships, so that you can go about the joy of loving and living.
To join the series, Register Here.
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'Tis the season of holiday cheer, getting together with family, and setting new intentions for a prosperous new year. It is also the season where many of us go into heavy obligation -- to buy buy buy, eat eat eat, attend countless holiday parties, and host our own.
This season of warmth and heart leaves many feeling cold and anxious when they contemplate all of its obligations. And a sense of obligation breeds resentment in relationship, because it means that we're not truly acting from a place of authenticity, sharing from one heart to another.
The antidote to this feeling is taking responsibility for your choices, allowing yourself to say no, or yes, based on what you truly desire and PRACTICING FORGIVENESS.
Forgiveness is all about getting into right relationship with yourself first. It helps you to break free from feelings of resentment and isolation. It helps you to truly connect, open into your heart and allow ripples of healing to wash over all the other relationships in your life.
Before we can heal our relationships with others we have to come to know forgiveness and unconditional love for ourselves. When we forgive ourselves, we open into our own hearts, learn to lead from our hearts and to communicate heart to heart with others.
So take a minute to ask yourself, what do you need to forgive yourself for? What promises have you made to yourself or to others that you have not kept?
And if you're interested in learning how to forgive and experience the magic of right relationship in the New Year, then sign up for my upcoming free series: 5 Days of Forgiveness and begin creating magic and miracles in your relationships. During this series I will be leading you through a transformational forgiveness process where you'll let go of the resentments holding you back in your most important relationships, so that you can go about the joy of living and loving.
To join the free series, Register Here.
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