Originally published on Amani Resources website, April 21, 2015
Welcome to the Amani Resources Blog, where we offer SOUL STORIES to inspire and inform. Through storytelling we harness the power of prose and of poetry to share our personal healing journey. We hope you’ll visit often and share some stories of your own.
This Soul Story is written by Tasneem Grace Tewogbola, and based on a series of interviews and conversations with Amani Resources founder, Panya Walker.
Soul Story: The Masterpiece
Years before conception, she lay claim to the title.
Mother. Mama. Mommy.
Years before names are chosen and prayers murmured. Before test sticks and diaper changes. Before swollen ankles, dimpled grins and bone-deep fatigue, she knows.
One day, as certain as spring rain and morning dew, she will become Mother.
And her husband will be Father. Poppa. Daddy.
And together they will birth a masterpiece.
For three years they nestle themselves in cooing conversations spoken in future tense.
Oh, what will our daughter be like?
Who says we’ll have a girl?
Well, then what will our son be like?
Either way, our baby will be brilliant.
She’ll have your eyes.
He’ll have your smile.
And our love.
Time passes and the pillow talk shifts from wanting and waiting to curiosity and concern.
Before they are expecting they expect a straight line to run from desire to destiny.
But this path unfolds with twists and unexpected lessons.
So while they feel a child waiting to be welcomed into their lives, they decide they need prayer and professionals to help conceive their dream.
The path twists.
She lays on tables in cold rooms where no one lays hands.
She is prodded and pricked and injected and measured.
She becomes a client, a case, a problem that needs solving, a situation to test and monitor.
A skinny line sits between science, spirit and truth.
She kneels and balances there, quieting worry with words.
I am the Gatekeeper. Spirit is my salvation.
I trust the Divine to guide the hands and minds of these doctors.