People who seek to make a difference, to be change agents (in their families and communities, for their clients, in the world), are often driven by a desire to fix.
And with that desire comes a tendency to fixate on what's not working,
and to stay fixed in a vision of what 'should' be.
The fixer operates through a sense of obligation and compliance. They are obligated to fix and the recipient is obligated to do what they say, to comply.
Which ultimately breeds a sense of disappointment on both sides if folks don't fall in line with that vision.
The fixer falls short because he forgets that he's an instrument, not the cure.
Her role is to offer a new perspective, to plant a seed. And the role of the recipient is to integrate the information into their consciousness -- or not.
So, when you offer your expertise as a parent, spouse, colleague or coach, think of it as a gift, not a 'fix' or obligation. This changes the spirit in which the information is shared, and the spirit in which it is received. And it creates fertile ground for lasting transformation.