When Only The Other One Will Do

March 9, 2017

 

"I want my toy."

"This one?"

"Yes"

"Here you are."

"No the other one!"

This was a typical conversation between my son and I for months, as he went through a period of unrelenting indecision. 

And it drove me crazy. 

He wanted something, then changed his mind, then changed it again, and again. 

The more I pushed him to make a decision, the more agitated we both became.  Since 'bad parenting' moments are born of anger, agitation and irritation, I knew that I needed a reframe.

So I asked myself, what is my son teaching me?  Because all of life is a mirror, showing me to myself.

The answer came quick. 

He's finding his voice.  He's working through a very human fear of loss, "what if I choose the wrong thing?"

Boy could I relate.  We were in lockstep together, his emotions mirroring my own.  I'd been grappling with that same fear in my business, with a new hire decision that I'd put off. 

So I began to meet my son with acceptance, patience and the gentle prod:  "It's ok, go ahead and choose. You can always come back and do something else later."

And we both began to shift.   To jump in and take a stand, knowing that if we find a better fit down the road, we can correct course and move on.  Easy peasy.

And I'm happy to report that I now have a new hire that I love, and my son is embracing new adventure with gusto. 

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